Are You Too Hard On Yourself? Here’s How To Stop Kicking Your Own Ass

I did all the things I was supposed to. I was quick to cheer others on. I could look at someone and find a dozen things to compliment them on in under a minute. I smiled a lot, said yes a lot, and embodied the kind of person that I’d want to meet. Continue reading “Are You Too Hard On Yourself? Here’s How To Stop Kicking Your Own Ass”

The Unlovable Black Woman Does Not Exist

Do me a favor. Go to Google. Type in “black woman single.” Ok, now count how many articles pop up that have headlines like “This is why I don’t like black women” and “This is what black women should do if they want a man.” Stereotypes, misogynoir, blah blah blah, yawn.

Can you imagine if black men were treated like this? As if their being unwanted was a simple fact, and the whole world jumped in to tell them how to fix themselves? And can you imagine if the basis of their being unloveable was that they were just too damn educated/successful/confident? Let’s talk about this. Continue reading “The Unlovable Black Woman Does Not Exist”

5 Life Lessons I Learned in My 20s, Thanks to ‘My Mad Fat Diary’

It’s no exaggeration to say that My Mad Fat Diary is one of my absolute favorite shows to ever exist. The series is set in the 90s (in Britain – Lincolnshire, to be exact) and the music alone will leave you drowning in pleasant nostalgia, but what really made me fall in love is the painfully honest look at protagonist Rae’s life as a teenage girl struggling with body image issues and a mental illness.

That being said, looking into a mirror isn’t always easy. The show can be hard to watch at times, precisely because no work of fiction has ever hit on so many of my deepest insecurities or reminded me so vividly of my own painful experiences growing up.

But that’s what’s so good about it – MMFD has this wonderful ability not only to go there, to plunge deeply into the painful topics some of us would rather not think about, but they do it all with humor and grace and heart.

When I first discovered the series on Youtube, I stayed up all night watching it. I had to pause it periodically because I just couldn’t believe a TV show was actually talking about this stuff, all the parts of my life that most people know nothing about. There were tears. I cried for the old me, who was just like Rae and who didn’t have anyone to trust with the most vulnerable parts of herself. I cried tears of relief because watching the show and reading the comments and joining the fandom made me realize that there were other people out there who struggled with the same things I struggled with for so many years.

But most of all, I cried because of the reminder that I didn’t know I still needed: that I am worthy of love, just as I am – mad and fat and beautiful just the same.

Unfortunately, we still have to wait a little under a week until season 3 premieres (who else is counting down until June 22nd?). In the meantime, I though I’d share some of the life lessons this gem of a show has taught me.

Continue reading “5 Life Lessons I Learned in My 20s, Thanks to ‘My Mad Fat Diary’”